I’m back to posting again.
Back to being sugar free. No processed sugar. Eating only raw. Fell off the wagon…again…at the start of March.
I really had to realize that a lot of my life choices have been very juvenile. Like my inner child was running me. So…I’ve put it in time out. Health is something that you should take very seriously in your adult life. I don’t want to wait till 50 or 60 to try to catch up in terms of my health. I’m making decisions now to keep cancer, diabetes, ect at bay.
I’ve stopped losing weight for other people. I’ve let go of that perception. I realized the only person I can really influence with my positive change is me. I think a lot of women has had the thought that their weight lost would be the perfect revenge on ex-lovers or lovers that you never loved (only wanted from afar). The thought “When I’m sexy and smaller, he’ll be sorry!” is one that many women have uttered. I know I’m not alone.
I realized that I’m going through this transformation for me. I’m in control of my words, my thoughts, and my actions. That’s it. I’m not in control of what other people say or do, so to make changes in my life in anticipation that someone will love or accept me because of these changes is a pipe dream (and not really what I want in my heart). Without chastising myself, I understand how wrong my thinking has been. How is has be devaluing. I am important. My health and happiness is the priority, not some scheme of love. I’m making positive healthy changes in my life by eating raw food, by becoming a raw foodist.
I’m doing this for me, for once. And it feels so good. I feel so free.
I was 191 in August and yesterday I was 174. That’s 17 pounds and I’m proud. Sure, I could have gotten here sooner if I’d stayed the course and not gotten off the wagon…but to mill over all that is just beating myself up.
In order to change my life all i have to do is make steps in the right direction, think and believe on what I want to see in my life and if will manifest. Weight is no different.
I absolutely love the walnut meat i’ve been making. Soaked raw walnuts, cilantro, cummin, red onion, celery, pepper, and barbeque spices. Yum. I roll it up in a romaine leaf and it’s like heaven.
Sunday through Tuesday are a blur. I’ve always connected eating to celebration and with the biggest event of my lifetime happening here in DC…I did what came natural and ate cooked food. I didn’t go overboard, but i did have way to much sweet stuff. I’m not beating myself up. That just wouldn’t be in keeping with the spirit of change that I witnessed first hand, on the Mall yesterday the Inauguration of Barack Obama. Oh it was inspiring. I am inspired to do more to make America better, but more than that, I want to be better. My health must be a priority.
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